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“Tame dialogue and deal-breakingly illogical puzzles should lead you to look elsewhere for more robust, well-rounded adventures.”
Jack Keane 2

Review written for GamesReviews.com. Read it by clicking here. It wasn’t a very good game. I think 6 was a little generous, and I certainly wouldn’t urge you to ‘rent it’.

Written for Exeposé Online, published on embargo day.

metal-gear-rising-revengeance

Unsheathing Raiden’s lighting-spitting high-frequency blade and carving through the head of an adversary cyborg refreshes sword fighting with a grisly intensity. You can leave one-legged half bodies hopping in circles before falling onto the ground like freshly sliced deli salami. The power and precision of Kojima’s E3 2010 ‘stealth action’ tech demo has been stylishly realised, now distilled as a pure, frantic beat ’em up with a little help from Platinum.

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Originially published in Exeposé 25th Anniversary Issue. I still don’t know why.

Make a splash in the best john on campus as Marcus Beard, Games Editor, watches the thrones.

Sometimes, unloading your greasy, bean-filled log into just any old water closet doesn’t cut it. As your bowels squeeze out the digested remnants of yesterday’s gorging, it’s nice to be somewhere with comfort, taste, and style. Grind some beef, unbuckle your belt and place your cheeks upon this tour of Exeter’s luscious lavatories.

Ram & Forum – 2*
Almost impossible to tell apart, these two excrement halls share the same trough-style sinks and warped mirrors. The seemingly complete inability to deal with any stool larger than an aborted squirrel is forgiven by the spaciousness of each commode. These toilets share a wall, so one has to wonder; why make two mediocre fecal depositories instead of one poo-poo paradise. Expect to find vomit in every cubicle Thursday – Saturday.

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